Every Body Is A Rugby Body

A message from American University Prop Marissa Klass

Long before I became fat, I hated my body. It was not until I became plus size that I learned how to authentically love every part of myself. I was an adorable, chubby kid. From the seventh grade through sophomore year of college, I wore straight-sized clothing and benefited from thin privilege. Even so, I never fit into the beauty standards set by my high school peers – I have never been skinny and I never will be. Now that I have thicker skin, I have assumed my truest form as a beautiful, plus-size person.

When I joined AUWRFC in Spring 2019 of my freshman year, a comment made by one of the players deeply resonated with me: every body is a rugby body. Initially, this idea dumbfounded me. Throughout my tenure in dance, cross country, and track, I learned that there is an ideal mold to work towards, one that I never fit into. I was so excited to join a community where I was not scrutinized for my size. Everyone, no matter what body type, has a place on the pitch.

When I gained a significant amount of weight during COVID-19, I was forced to confront my internalized fatphobia. This internalized fatphobia has followed me my entire life and is something I am actively deconstructing. I acknowledge that fat people as a marginalized, intersectional group, exist on a spectrum, in which some bodies are perceived as more “ideal” than others, which reflects societal beauty standards. I know that as a 1X, I do not experience the same discrimination and ridicule that people in larger bodies face every day. I continue to unpack insecurities about my size and assume my strength as a tough player.

Before joining AUWRFC, I had every intent to take up as little space as I could and make myself small to accommodate others. My teammates have taught me to reject this idea, to be assertive, and to rightfully assume my space. I have transformed from an unsure and timid freshman to a loud and powerful senior. It was only last semester that rugby finally clicked for me. I have never been coordinated, but with great patience and effort, I have grown as a player. I have learned what my body is truly capable of, with every powerful hit and every ball caught from a receiving kick. I cannot begin to describe the feeling of accomplishment I have when I clear a ruck or make a tackle. I ADORE being a forward. I started out as a second row and now I am a mighty prop. I love being a prop because of what I can contribute to the team. I may not be fast, but I am incredibly powerful.

From a young age, my weight has constantly fluctuated and was determined by my mood and if I was actively training for a race. My highest point of physical fitness was in the fall of 2017 when I completed an 18-mile race as a high school senior. I wanted to run this race for a few reasons: 1) the race took place in Long Beach Island, NJ, a place I have had a personal connection with since childhood; 2) I wanted to spite everyone and prove to myself that I could do this; but above all else, 3) I wanted to lose weight. Running that race was an impressive feat, but it was one that was extrinsically motivated. Completing that goal was an act of self-hatred, which came from deeply rooted insecurities. Being a player on our team has helped me realize that weight loss is no longer a personal goal of mine. Instead, I want to become stronger and improve my fitness because of self-love and admiration for what I can do. As a fat queer person, I have found a safe space in this team. The AU Women’s Rugby team has taught me to love the skin that I’m in.

About the Author

Marissa Klass is a Senior at American University studying Justice & Law, and Political Science. She joined our team in the spring of 2019 as a lock, and has since debuted as a prop. Klass currently serves as the club treasurer.